Why do we feel that we don't behave our "usual" selves when we are around people that we look up to.
Is it our ego that influences us?
Yes. We all have an ego, some heads are bigger than others. We act differently around some people because we think we will impress them with our best version of ourselves.
Now I know you are probably thinking that I am going to tell you to act your best self all the time not just around people that you feel vulnerable around. But that is not what I am going to suggest here.
You may ask why?
Everyone is different, behavior is contagious. Building rapport is essential for connecting with others. How can you build that rapport if you constantly act the same way around everyone.
You may notice after hanging around someone that you begin talking like they do, moving like they do, feeling the same emotions as they do. This is what makes us human. Connecting with others on a deeper rooted level.
Consciously we may not even notice we are doing it, it is very subtle. It is until you become aware that you tend to notice and change in your behavior.
What is being yourself anyways? Are we ever ourselves? Or do we continually morph into this performance.
My suggestion here is to stay true to your core values, whatever those may be for you, and from this platform behave according to achieving your values.
For example if family is your core value, than what you say and do should reflect that about you in all circumstance no matter who you are with.
If health or fitness is one of your core values, than if you are with someone you look up to and they want to get a burger with you or eat something greasy, you don't need to impress that person if you don't believe in eating empty calories.
Coffee is the best example here. Many people drink coffee and if you do not, you are not impressing anyone by getting a cup of coffee, believe me, this comes from personal experience.
I got introduced to a potential client . He suggested for our first meeting to meet at the starbucks to get a coffee. When we were at the starbucks I felt an obligation to get a cup of coffee to build that rapport I explained to you earlier. But I stopped myself and thought who am I doing this for, I don't like coffee, why should I do something that is against my belief. Instead I got a tea. This sparked an interesting conversation after and built our connection more solid.
Going against the herd mentality sometimes can win and influence relationships. In fact you might even impress the person you are trying to impress but conveying your beliefs.
To be continued....