Saturday, 23 April 2016

Doing this right can change a person's life

So easy to pay a compliment to someone when they least expect it.
The best time to pay a compliment is when the person least expects it. Just like I had covered when the best time is to give a gift.

Why is it a good practice to pay compliments? To answer this question you can ask yourself how it feels when someone pays you a compliment.

We are all different therefore not everyone will feel the same about a compliment. To some people it can really boost their confidence and make their day so much better.

What I found interesting is not the reason behind why the compliment is important but actually the timing of when it is done.

Before I tell you why, let me tell you about the Pavlovian experiment with dogs. To those rare few who are not familiar with this, a Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov had discovered that you can condition dogs by simply ringing a bell before their food is served. The dogs developed a habit of salivating every time the bell rang because they thought the food came next.

This conditioning is a great way to teach your dogs new tricks, and teach your children many habits, however it is not a good way to treat your compliments this way.

Do you ever notice that when someone complains about something and you pay them a compliment it seems to go in one ear and out the other. It does not register for the person receiving a compliment because you are turning this into too much of a predictable tired practice.

You want this to become a habit then get into the habit of doing it spontaneously.

That's all it takes, is giving a compliment when it is least expected.

Now let me tell you why when the timing is right this becomes sticky. (Sticky is a good thing, it is when something is remembered and is stuck in your or the other persons mind)

Your target is not the conscious mind it is the subconscious. You want the person to remember this for a lifetime not a minute when the compliment is given.

Paying someone a compliment spontaneously you catch the person off guard. The person is now placing this memorable compliment into the long term storage of the brain.

To aid the mind in keeping this in the long term memory part of our brain the mind stores not only the compliment but the context and location.

The mind focuses on it, repeats it, and organizes it in such a way that it wouldn't if it was done when the person is expecting a compliment. You can read further into how to store memory long term here.

This advice I gave to my friend and I hope he uses it just like I hope you do to, and just like I wished I had done before I learned this.

How did I learn this?

Through realization and awareness of how compliments change people. A person changes their appearance, language and behaviour when the compliment is done so subtly. Giving someone a compliment before they hint for it makes the person so much more confident and exuberant. The change happens right in front of your eyes.

Try it if you don't believe me.

Make someones day by surprising them with a compliment about anything specific about them.

Watch their reaction and behaviour after the fact. Notice in the future how this affects them.

What you choose to do with this information is up to you.

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