Thursday, 28 April 2016

Are you a loner?

Doesn't that look like fun?
Have you ever travelled alone, ate alone, spent long periods of time alone?

If you said yes to the above question than you can relate to this post. Uncertainty and doubts are probably running through your thoughts if you have not experienced this.

You may be wondering "what is so special about being alone?"

Besides the fact that you get to step outside of your comfort zone, and that you get to meet amazing new people (not that you couldn't do this when you are with someone). You build your confidence and you give yourself time for introspection.

I spend a great deal of time alone. This is what makes me, well you guessed it, me.

Of course I have family, a girlfriend, friends, acquaintances, business partners, clients, readers and pets. However I choose to spend more than half my day being by myself. Whether it's working on my business or on my self.

There is good side to this and of course there is a flip side to this coin. It all boils down to your personality.

When you get to be by yourself for long periods of time. Disconnected from any social platform and connected to your thoughts and feelings amazing things happen. You become an extraordinary problem solver.

Some people of course, and we can call them extroverts, do better in social settings. Collaborating with people to generate ideas. They feel accepted and secure. For me this is the opposite. I get my best work done when I am alone. When no one is standing watching over my shoulder.

I have heard from some people, who are in my circle of friends, that it feels awkward to sit in a restaurant by themselves. I find it intriguing. 

You don't have to waste energy thinking about the conversation you facilitate if you are with someone. You don't have to sit in an awkward silence, my girlfriend calls it the "golden silence" (she came up with that phrase when she asked me to remind her of what I called a "comfortable silence") and yes she loathes when we sit and not say a word to each other over a period of time at the restaurant.

Why do you have to talk? Most of the time it is boring meaningless chit chat. When what is going on in that head is so much more fascinating, and most times it doesn't sound the same when you speak those thoughts out loud. I can apply the Pareto principle of the 80/20. 20 percent of the conversation is significant, and 80 percent we can live without.

Travelling alone is one of the most daring things a person can do. From the people that I know, very few are comfortable with this, and by the very few I can think of 4 friends who will and have travelled abroad alone.

What is so scary about travelling alone?

I think the emphasis here is that people sometimes are scared to be left alone to their thoughts that are waiting for them like a snake luring mice in the jungle. I admire those who do travel alone and experience life in a different way as the majority do.

Don't get me wrong being social and being with someone on a constant basis, travelling, and going to restaurants is 'normal'. It makes us humane.

I guess I could say I cheat, that the books and blogs I read or the Ted talks I watch all the authors keep me company when I am alone.

Being alone is scary, intimidating, fun, adventurous and stimulating.

I have so much more to say about this, so until next time.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

What you choose to do with this information is up to you.

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