Wednesday, 11 May 2016

The art of an engaging conversation


You rock!

Did they have lunch?

I walked in the elevator yesterday with my two little dogs. To my surprise a sweet older lady began a conversation that led me to write this post. A conversation which I found intriguing and I think we can all learn something from.

Why do we most times ask the most predictable questions, and waste our time with the unwanted boring conversations that usually lead to a heedless encounter? Believe me I am guilty of this myself.

I'll tell you why.

Because that is what we are most comfortable doing. Because we fear that if we say something out of the ordinary that we will be remembered, that we will be judged, that we will be hated or loved.

It is you who thinks all of this, no one else.

I gave an example in my Terrible experience all the way to the emergency how I struck up a conversation with nurse and asked her where she is from. I guess I couldn't ask what she did for work since I knew exactly what her role was, by the way asking someone what they do for work is one of the worst questions to ask anyone.

The question sucks because it will not lead to a story, because you don't know what the person's circumstance might be even though you are probably dying to let the person know about your profession.

Usually we ask things we want to be asked, and all the time we love talking about ourselves more than anything. So in order to break that habit and to find interest in someone else we want to engage in an interesting conversation with them.


Bold or senseless?
We love hearing people's experience and adventure, no one cares about what you do for work even if you are an astronaut. Although you would have some cool stories to tell.

So why not tell those stories and let the people figure out on there own what you do for work. Leaving a suspense and making people think critically becomes much more engaging than "hey I am bob I am a mechanical engineer..." or "What a nice day it is today..." or "How are you doing today..."

Instead get creative.

Ask "what is your dream, or your broken dream?" Learned this from Dan Pallotta. "What did you learn this week?" Learned this from Darius Foroux. Or ask something that is completely unexpected like the sweet older lady in the elevator "Did they have lunch?".

A conversation can lead to something much more meaningful.

That question from the sweet older lady made me marvel it's purpose and a day later I am still thinking about it. Did she want to feed them? Did she think they were hungry? Or was it just an ice breaker between a millennial and a baby boomer generation.

Since we find little in common with people outside our age range do not get fooled by the numbers. When we want to find something in common we do.

Conversations are a start to everything. Everything that was great or bad it all began with a conversation.

No need to bore you with more facts about the origin of language, I think I already have in my Multi linguists have it's advantages too.

So let's end this post on this note, why not start a conversation with something bold or unexpected. You never know where it will lead you. You can possibly meet your best friend, a person you will share the rest of your life with, or you might just never see them again but you will have them thinking about you.

Thank you for reading this post, and thank you lady who I didn't catch your name for teaching me the value of how important it is to have remarkable conversations.

To be continued...

Image copyright respectively by littlethings.com, recode.net

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