Tuesday, 14 June 2016

When and how to give someone advice

There is nothing more rewarding then giving someone useful practical advice. It creates a sense of euphoria. What I find interesting is that there is a specific time for when to give advice and that men and women react differently when receiving advice.

Walking up to someone and giving them advice of which you think may help them can come off quite rude, egotistical, and arrogant. How can this be?

Your advice only matters when the person is ready to receive it. The seeker will find you when they are ready.

I recently met with a mentor of mine and I had asked him to teach me everything he knew about everything he knew. Yes, very broad, so he asked me to ask him specific questions about what I want to know since our time was limited.

I asked him how can I get more sales leads for my steam cleaning company. He gave me advice of which was practical and very useful. He also recommended to read two specific books about the subject.

After attaining his pragmatic advice and reading the books about the subject, I was asked by a client of mine to give him my 'professional opinion' on a very similar topic. I felt a sense of accomplishment after reiterating what I have heard and read. It strengthened my understanding and I was also able to give my client my opinion on what his next step should be.

The consultation couldn't have come at a better time. I will give you a snippet of the advice since I love to give content to my readers.

"Sales people are not prospectors. You cannot expect them to do the same job. You will exhaust them, you need to let your sales people be the closers, and your prospectors the lead hunters. For your company's growth it is necessary to...."

My advice to you is be ready anytime, because you never know when you will be asked for your 'professional opinion'. When you do get asked, talk in their language. No I don't mean speak in a foreign language. What I mean is explain your advice to them in terms that they can grasp it.

If they do not understand the jargon, then tell it to them in simple terms. Using metaphors always helps, especially when you compare things that are universally understood. I do this in my posts sometimes to give you a better understanding of what I am talking about.

On a side note I was told by one of the readers that they love reading my posts. I was pleasantly surprised because of the person I heard this from, and explained to them that I like to keep things as simple as possible so that everyone reading can understand my message in the post. He said that's exactly what he enjoyed about my posts.

Everything that I know, you can find, research, read and learn. It is no secret. What professionals do is they save time for people who need the solutions right away.

They facilitate in taking down barriers/pains, for people who are striving to achieve an end task, whether it is a professional, business, relationship or a life goal.

Don't be afraid to ask when you need to, it does not make you look stupid. Quite the opposite, it makes you look curious, ready and willing to learn. Nobody knows everything. Asking someone for advice will strengthen your relationship with that person.

Some great places where I seek advice is from online publications from various successful entrepreneurs such as Gary Vaynerchuk, Simon Sinek, Ryan Holiday, Marc Cuban, Tim Ferris, Tal Gur, also books are a primary source for absolutely great content. Ted Talks, mentors, friends, enemies, parents, clients, partners.

Do you ever find that you are disinterested when someone tells you something that you already know? I do, however it is best to show that you are interested because what that person is doing is learning by teaching. Give them the benefit for doing so.

So how are men so different from women when it comes to receiving advice?

Women want to be heard and Men want to problem solve.

Giving a woman advice about something without her "Directly" asking for it is exactly what I said in the second paragraph of this post, it rubs of the wrong way. However a man would not see it completely this way, although you may bruise the ego of the man, most times the man will accept the advice and will either act or do nothing about it.

Women want you to listen to them, they do not care to solve the problem. Yes naturally us men hear a problem and our first reaction is to solve it because that is how we are hard wired, where there is a problem there must be a solution.

Next time a woman is telling you something that you think will need to be fixed, just listen, acknowledge, and be there for her without saying what she should do. Encourage her to talk freely with you saying "I understand how that would feel, it must be awful".

I notice with myself that useful advice surfaces much after someone has asked for it. It bothers me that I couldn't give them the advice right there and then when they were asking for it. Does this ever happen to you?

Final thoughts on advice giving is to be aware of who you are giving advice to, let that individual come to you directly. Your advice matters only when someone is ready for it. Not sooner or later.

What is the best piece of advice you have received? Did it come at a good time?

Thank you for reading this post as always, if there is anyway I can help you with anything do not hesitate to contact me. I am easy to find. To be continued....

I would like to add that who you get advice from matters. If for example that person has a failing business, or does not have any expertise in the line of work he/she is giving you advice on, then approach it with caution. You should always do your own research and do not just put your full trust in someone because they may seem like they know what their talking about.
Back the advice up with proven facts.

This can also be read on Karasingroup.com

Image copyright respectively by jwstruggle.com, keyword-suggestions.com

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