The difference between a defensive approach to an offensive can be a difference between a win and a loss in a given outcome.
Someone blames you for something you did or didn’t do, you become defensive. Your boss questions your work and you become defensive. Your wife asks why you were out late and you become defensive.
Naturally, our reaction is to retract from any situation that poses a threat to our supposed well-being. Most people do not like to be undermined and the best case scenario is to defend our position, or is it?
You’ve heard me mention victim-hood mentality. The notion of defense brings us back to the concept of victim-hood mentality. Acting as if you are the victim of a given situation, you neglect responsibility. You blame everything that is outside of your control.
Instead of taking control of what you do and how you respond, you react faultless, you blame the other person and the obstacles that got in the way to rationalize what may seem irrational to your counterpart.
“If you got yourself into this mess, you are responsible enough to get yourself out.” The power of the other by Henry Cloud
There are various types of defense mechanisms, noted by Sigmund Freud;
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