Creative creation from the unexpected.

I am feeling uninspired. Is this something I should be concerned about? Is my creativity coming to a close? How can this be? I am a writer am I not?

The problem isn't finding what to write about, it is that I have so many topics I want to write, which do I pick? Which direction do I take it to? I noticed I have a following on my posts. My words are reaching and inspiring beyond my circle. I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

This could possibly be the problem itself. The not wanting to ‘disappoint’. I have to let go of the ego. Because in reality it is not others I do not want to disappoint, it is myself. I don’t want to fail, I don’t want to look back and see that some people got value while others didn’t from my articles.

How do I let go of the ego? How do I bruise it and continue to focus on my writing instead of making myself ‘look good’ in front of others?

Confronting the ego and facing it head on. Questioning myself with the purpose of digging down deeper as to why I care so much about what other people think. The reaction is what comes next, and surprisingly enough I am in control of this reaction.

So what if I get a negative comment or not as many likes or shares? What will happen then? Am I surmounting to the pressure of knowing that you are reading this and judging me, judging my words?

I will still continue to create, write, and produce. I started this with the intention of self reflection. Finding my own voice amongst all the chatter and noise.

Why do I care? I care because it gives me validation, I care because I want to be heard, I care because just like you I have a voice, and just like you I can give something that others can find useful.

The habit is not to get squandered in pleasing everyone. Not everyone has the same beliefs or the same needs and wants. You are unique, these words may not resonate with you, but with a stranger, your friend, or family member they could.

So is it this hope that I hang onto?

The beauty about creating is the art in itself. You, the reader, never know which direction I will take you on. It may seem so obvious at first, yet with a twist it can then make it so much more interesting than you expected. Expect the unexpected.

Sometimes I don’t see it myself where we may end up but, when we get there I always think it couldn’t have been done any other way.

We are on the same journey, if only for a brief moment. You step into my world while reading these words, and I step into yours after hearing your final comments and seeing the number of likes. Only to decide then if I am doing something for you all along.

Writing can be a struggle and I don’t necessarily want to take this post into that direction of writing about writing. I feel I have more to share with you, more value to add, something that will make you think. Make you question my assumption and my intentions.

In my previous series of posts, I have been focused on giving you the tools on how to engage with people, the things you should know about a handshake and how vital networking is to your life.

What I want to add and I think you should know is that it’s about who you know and what you know. The power of connectivity and surrounding yourself with likeminded people can yield massive results for you. Having the same dinner parties with the same group of people, talking about the same things or trivial news will give you the same results as you have gotten.

Do I continue on this path? Do I give you more tools on how to communicate with other people to win their hearts and leverage the outcomes?

Do I write about how you need to distance your self only to become closer with someone else? Or about how to invest and what to look for in aspiring entrepreneurs and small businesses? Or how about police brutality, is being in a position of power something that can influence you to behave outside your norm?

So much to write about, where to begin? What journey do I take you on?

I suppose you will find out tomorrow as we continue this journey, you and I.

To be continued….

Image copyright by worldsymbolsblog.wordpress.com

Changing my belief about networking has opened new doors of opportunity

For the longest time I thought that I had enough friends and I had no more room for new friends. I was a fool to think so.

It wasn’t until recently that I discovered new friends expand your network which can lead to amazing experiences, projects, and events. I will point out some of those in detail to give you and understanding of why it is important to continually grow your network, the know how and of course research to back my claims up.

We all know the former U.S. president Bill Clinton, maybe more infamously because of his relations with Monika Lewinsky. However, Bill has been given credit to being one of the most sought after networkers of our time.

He has a formula that can be duplicated. Bill attributes his foot into presidency to his mass connections thanks to his networking know-how. In the business insider article, Bill is attributed to practicing back into the late 1960’s.

Bill would meet new people and he would take out his black address book to write down the person’s name, what the person does and why that person is doing what his doing. With this process Bill not only remember faces and names but he digs much deeper and he builds, which will be the basis of this post, meaningful connections.

It is important to make a note of what you discussed with someone and how you will contact them later.

I have started doing this recently and it works great, taking notes on the business card or in my phone. My memory also seems to recall the exact interaction of which I had with that individual by having the notes handy.

Keith Ferrazzi in his book Never Eat Alone, whom you have heard me mention in my previous posts, communicates that you need to build communities now not when you need them the most.

“The more people you help the more help you will have, the more help you will have to help others.”

Meeting new people open’s new doors to new possibilities, this couldn’t be more true. Mark Zuckerberg was on the right path for his idea of social networking.

“The question isn’t about what do we want to know about people? Its about what people want to tell us about themselves.” As Mr. Zuckerberg famously quoted.

People love talking about themselves, the point is to let them do so. By allowing people to talk about themselves, and of course asking open ended probing questions such as “What do you think about that?” Asking the five W’s will generate open ended questions. You gain much insight into the person you are talking to thus making a real connection with that individual.

It is scary meeting new people. No they are not witches or warlords, they are people who will judge you, that’s what’s scary about meeting new people. Getting over this fear is sometimes like pushing a boulder uphill. Once you reach the top of the hill you can push the boulder down and that exactly how it is when you get to know someone.

Getting uncomfortable is the best thing you can do.

I still struggle myself when I am at events to make new connections. However just like Susan Roaen stated in her book How To Work a Room, “We all have commonalities, all the time it is the roof under which we are under.” When you are at an event the thing you have in common is the event. Something or someone brought you there and that can be an opening remark when talking to someone.

Genuinely care about what people are talking about by listening with your heart, your head, be present in the conversation and put your phone away. Most importantly listening with EQ (Emotional intelligence) rather than your IQ, you are not trying to be smarter than the person you are talking too but you want use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour, this is a topic for another post.

“People remember people who make them feel special and comfortable.”

Come find the rest over here with my closing remarks and how I handled to handle a situation were you may not like someone.

The Art of Handshake

Why is the handshake so fascinating yet, unheeded?

Society is impacted by many facets, one of those happens to be the handshake. Going as far back as the 5^th century BC in ancient Greece we find archeological images and text of ancients shaking hands. What did this symbolize?

In an era were war was predominant a handshake represented peace. “Demonstrating that no weapons could be held in the hand.” -Wiki.

What is the psychology behind the handshake?

Katie Gilbert published an article In The Handshake on psychology today explaining that the handshake is part of our body language and how we communicate with others. She also gives handshake tips and etiquettes which we will get to in a moment.

There is so much to know about handshakes, the do’s and don’ts, the diverse cultural aspect as well as the universal language. Experts on handshakes, yes, experts, give a full detail on the handshake practice. For some people this comes naturally, for others it’s very awkward and can do more harm when beginning a relationship.

So what do you do with a handshake?

Coming from experience I understand, observe and have written about rapport and body language. This matters to me because in business and relationship building you want to gain the other person’s trust. As I have discussed your first impression matters.

Trust leads to new opportunity’s and possibilities.

Do you remember your first handshake? Who was it with? How did you feel about it? This habit of yours has become just that, a habit. You don’t think about the handshake but, I believe you should. Behind every good and bad handshake is a human.

Now let me ask you this; when was your last handshake? Do you remember who it was with? Did you pay attention to the process?

Are you a crusher, soggy noodle, or an even-steven hand shaker? What do these types of handshakes mean?

There are many types of handshakes, I am only giving some of the more common examples to help you understand that the handshake is varied based on your intention and character.  How can so many factors influence a handshake? The culture you come from, the experience, the awareness or lack of.

Giving someone a firm grip and holding on for too long can be very direct, and dominating. Hanging on like a soggy noodle is a sign of weakness and dubiousness. If you were going to stop reading this post now than the following is the utmost important piece of information and this will be my message through this post.

The even-steven handshake is a reciprocated handshake. One that you must master because it is the one that will portray confidence, openness and trust.

I am self conscious about handshakes, and my intuition tells me that it would help for you to be as well. When someone puts their hand out adjust your handshake according to there’s in terms of the firmness of the grip, the longevity of the shake and in my culture, Canadian, making eye contact with the recipient while shaking their hand. It shows a sign of respect and authority.

If you are in a sitting position, stand up to shake someone’s hand. It doesn’t matter what rank or status you may have; it shows that you care about the individual who is reaching out to shake your hand. If you don’t care, then avoid the handshake all together.

How much does body language attribute to our conversation? Experts place that percentage as high as 2/3. Body language matters, the handshake can speak louder than words. Therefore, wouldn’t you want to be conscious about your initial introduction, more importantly your technique?

Who leads the handshake? What about using both hands for a handshake? Those are great questions to consider when giving a handshake, let’s be brief here.

You should always lead the handshake because it signals confidence to the recipient. Placing one hand over the handshake or on the other individual’s elbow should only be done once the relationship has been established and ill explain why.

You will come off imposing when doing the handover on your first introduction with someone. However, when you have already established a relationship it shows a sign of willingness to be honest, caring and sincerity.

So many rules and etiquettes?

If your interested to find more click on this sentence, I talk about recent talks on you tube, world records and of course an author and takeaways.

https://karasingroup.com/2016/08/13/the-art-of-handshake/