It feels awful being uncomfortable

Uncomfortable conversations, situations, thinking about the uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable, okay maybe it does not.

I am sure like most people you have been in an uncomfortable situation, where someone put you on the spot or has embarrassed you in some way or another in front of other people. Or maybe there was a time you were called out on something that you said you knew to make yourself look good, but it was all a lie.

You remember a time like this? Did you feel like you’ve been robbed of your comfortable little bubble?

I can remember a time like this when I said yes to a work project I had no idea what it was about. When I was having a conversation with someone and nodded a yes only to realize I would be asked details about what was being talked about after having no idea of the place or person they were talking about.

We constantly get put into these awkward positions where our emotions flutter, our blood boils, our cheeks go red, and we start to sweat.

We here this all the time “don’t sweat the small stuff”, how can we not when we have no control over our reaction or do we?

Unless you have practiced in the monastery to become a Zen teacher I am sure there is something in you that gives. That get’s uncomfortable with the small stuff, or the big stuff.

There are times when you can anticipate being put on the spot, for example presenting a project in class, or having a speech prepared at your best friends wedding. Even these times when you are fully prepared you will still get uncomfortable.

How about the times when you don’t anticipate it when someone robs you from being comfortable?

Do you blame the person or thing responsible for it? Do you take ownership and thank the person or thing for helping you grow and mature into someone else, someone you wouldn’t even recognize?

Carol s. Dweck is a professor of psychology at the university of Stanford and she popularized the concept of a growth and fixed mindset.

“The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.” She writes in The New Psychology of Success.

It is all a matter of experience. The more we do something the better we are at doing it.

When I was giving a speech on my birthday to a group of 27 friends and 6 strangers I felt in the zone, however when I was being interviewed with 3 people in front of a camera I stuttered, I made mistakes, I wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t even great.

What did that do for me?

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