 |
| So easy to pay a compliment to someone when they least expect it. |
The best time to pay a compliment is
when the person least expects it. Just like I had covered when the
best time is to give a gift.
Why
is it a good practice to pay compliments?
To answer this question you can ask yourself how it feels when
someone pays you a compliment.
We
are all different therefore not everyone will feel the same about a
compliment. To some people it can really boost their confidence and
make their day so much better.
What I found interesting is not the
reason behind why the compliment is important but actually the timing
of when it is done.
Before I tell you why, let me tell you
about the Pavlovian experiment with dogs. To those rare few who are
not familiar with this, a Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov had
discovered that you can condition dogs by simply ringing a bell
before their food is served. The dogs developed a habit of salivating
every time the bell rang because they thought the food came next.
This conditioning is a great way to
teach your dogs new tricks, and teach your children many habits,
however it is not a good way to treat your compliments this way.
Do you ever notice that when someone
complains about something and you pay them a compliment it seems to
go in one ear and out the other. It does not register for the person
receiving a compliment because you are turning this into too much of
a predictable tired practice.
You want this to become a habit then
get into the habit of doing it spontaneously.
That's all it takes, is giving a
compliment when it is least expected.
Now let me tell you why when the
timing is right this becomes sticky. (Sticky is a good thing, it
is when something is remembered and is stuck in your or the other
persons mind)
Your target is not the conscious mind
it is the subconscious. You want the person to remember this for a
lifetime not a minute when the compliment is given.
Paying someone a compliment
spontaneously you catch the person off guard. The person is now
placing this memorable compliment into the long term storage of the
brain.
To aid the mind in keeping this in the
long term memory part of our brain the mind stores not only the
compliment but the context and location.
The mind focuses on it, repeats it, and
organizes it in such a way that it wouldn't if it was done when the
person is expecting a compliment. You can read further into how to
store memory long term here.
This advice I gave to my friend and I
hope he uses it just like I hope you do to, and just like I wished I
had done before I learned this.
How did I learn this?
Through
realization and awareness of how compliments change people. A person
changes their appearance, language and behaviour when the compliment
is done so subtly. Giving someone a compliment before they hint for
it makes the person so much more confident and exuberant. The change
happens right in front of your eyes.
Try it if you
don't believe me.
Make someones day
by surprising them with a compliment about anything specific about
them.
Watch their
reaction and behaviour after the fact. Notice in the future how this
affects them.
What you choose to
do with this information is up to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment