Are we in control or is it an illusion?

We think we are in control of our decisions when in fact we are susceptible to other people's influence.

How do we know what is the right or wrong thing to do? Who decides what is right and what is wrong? Are we selfish or selfless?

In this next two-part series, I will examine how influence affects our decision making. I will give you personal examples and two different scenarios. Are you ready?

Is it wrong to guilt people into donating?

Everyone has a choice, no one forces you to do anything even if you think you are obliged, "it is your thinking that makes it so". However, the flip side to this is the power of influence that people have over you when you just can't say no.

If you haven't already read this powerful book with practical strategies about how to influence people using the power of persuasion, I suggest you buy it as soon as you are ready for it.

Influence by Robert Caildini expresses the use of the everyday practice that people use against your own will, without you clearly understanding how. He is a master observer and sometimes regarded as the "godfather of influence."

This book was a validation to my observation of the human behaviour.

"Understanding persuasion means understanding how we make decisions."

Many great writers and successful entrepreneurs are able to observe what is happening without passing judgement. When this happens you are able to distinguish first what is logical, second what is reality/truth, and lastly how things work.

Epictetus in his work The Art of Living describes it as such:

"Anytime you approach a situation step back for a moment and analyze...Determine what happens first and see what that leads to."

What he is saying is pay attention to what is important, and what is important is your control over the situation. Do what you feel will be the most beneficial to your well-being.

So is it wrong then to guilt people into donating to a worthy cause? Well, one would have to ask what is a worthy cause? And who decides it is worthy? What I may consider worthy, you may have the opposite belief about it based on your previous experiences, and if you do, would you still donate?

Your first reaction will be to say no. Although, I find it interesting that we go against what we say we wouldn't do.

There are powerful forces at work here. No, this is not divine and intervention, this is using a practical approach to understanding people.

Continue reading HERE.

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What is the latest gossip?

We love to gossip about people we know, why do we do this? You are not the only one, 7 billion of us are guilty of this too.

Let's first start identifying what the definition of gossip is. What I think about it, and what the experts have to say about it. In my best intention I will give you the most insight possible in the least amount of time, let's dive in.

Gossip is the information about the behaviour and personal lives of other people according to Meriam Webster Dictionary.

My belief is that we gossip because we want to build an instant connection with the person we gossip with. We identify the commonalities of which we share, and strengthen our relationship while doing this.

How can this be? Shouldn't our relationship be more questionable now because we seem to be talking about someone else without their knowledge of it? Wouldn't we now be more on guard because if we do this to someone else what's stopping us from doing the same thing to each other?

Well the last question poses two different views. One you can say that no, you are building a bond amongst each other and by sharing vital information about someone else who you both know you are gaining each other's trust, let's stop here for a moment.

Gossiping about someone you don't know will not strengthen your relationship, in fact it will do more harm, because now you are coming off as this arrogant person who loves to talk about other people. Your trust to the person who is listening to your gossip will now be questionable.

Two, when you are gossiping about someone you know there can be opposing views. The other person can react instead of .... Finish reading this post HERE.

Turning a bold idea and putting it into action

Recently I had the pleasure of meeting a potential client who is working on a project in the food sector. Distributing food equipment to restaurants and other vendors.

He had a great idea for a side project. This entails him to become a landlord of which he would be renting a space for chefs and caterers. They would use his equipment and location to prep their meals for their clients.

Fantastic idea however, does he believe in his idea?

I want to examine what it takes for someone to believe in their idea. How do you leverage your resources to better fund this idea? How do you know there is a demand for this market? How do you know who your competition is?

An idea without action is just an idea.

There are tons of great ideas, the execution of those ideas matters more than the idea itself. So how do you know when someone believes in their idea? In short they make every move possible to bring that idea into life. How?

Executing an idea means you are willing to invest time, money, and this is the most important, other people's time. Why is the latter more important you may ask? Because when you make that INITIAL leap and sacrifice other people's time it becomes psychologically demanding on you.

You either emotionally or logically understand that by deciding to leverage someone else's time first, you believe it is time worth spending.

How is this so? Isn't easier spending other peoples time than investing your own time into the project? Initially no. After the idea is launched, it than becomes a decision for you to spend your own time doing it or wasting someone else's.

See the thing with our time is we find it invaluable. Most times it is hard to put a price on your own time. Do you compare it to the time you sit and watch T.V. or read a book or the time you earn a salary during work?

So our time becomes priceless, however using someone else's time there is a price on it. That investment in them than becomes a choice. The money you will spend on someone else's time is now putting a price on your time. Because you had to initially work to earn the money your going to spend.

This may seem confusing so let me simplify it, your time no longer is measured by how long you watch T.V. but, instead it is measured in the value you earn at your work.

"When the individual's values and desired outcome of the goals are aligned we become totally COMMITED, we pay more attention, are more resilient, and are way more productive as a result." Locke and Latham.

Becoming committed to executing the idea requires an alignment with what we believe and what our goals are for the outcome.

How do you leverage your resources? Well if you believe in what you are set out to execute will work, and you see the bigger picture, there is a way to do it without spending your own money on the project. Although, my belief is if you truly believe in your idea you will invest your own capital and time into the idea.

One way to do this is to partner up with someone or with an Angel Investor who believes in you. This can be both good and bad.

Let me know what you think of the rest of this post HERE.